Reasons Behind My Madness

Well, I guess its about time that I started explaining myself. There are several intricacies about me that people usually don't understand or take as normal because its essentially odd behavior. You know how there are methods to my madness? Well here are the reasons to why I act the way I do at times. I think this piece of writing is a long term process that will allow me to better understand myself, as well as getting my friends and people I know to understand me. Here Goes...

1. I tend to defend myself for every mistake that I make, even times when its not necessary. Simply, I do not take criticism well from anyone. This is because I have parents who constantly question my sense of security. Sometimes, I feel that my dad is always out to find ways that I'm wrong (even if I'm not) and try to make me see that his way is always the best. Years of this have left me a bit insecure about my work and I am always quick to defend myself. I'm trying not to do this as much.

2. Sometimes, I do things that are just all for show. Sometimes, its all walk and no talk. I come from a culture that is built on things that appear differently from what they actually are. Still... I know that its not the way to conduct yourself. I started making strides to match my bark with my bite. Honestly, I believe that by the time I enter college, I'll be well on my way to not being a man of just illusions. (Oh, and if you were wondering, my average is not a 101... or a 95. It's a 90, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Besides, Grades, like age, ain't nothin but a number.

3. I don't say everything I want to say exactly how I want it. It's because I try to see the goodness in people for as long as possible. But you know, I figured out that it ain't worth it. People see me as vocal because I have a need to make my voice heard. I want to make my opinions known by the people who are responsible for them. So if I come across as a little too stong, you know why. I'm not giving a fuck anymore.